White Sons/Black Sons

Sometimes it is fascinating to get a close up, in depth look into white people’s minds when they let their guards down and they have no idea that you’re looking.  Such was the case when I read “11 Things Only Parents of Boys Understand”.

Consider her thoughts on the #2 thing only parents of boys will understand:

2. Simultaneously hating and being grateful for the privilege your son will have as an adult male. This is a tough one. We all want our children to succeed and let’s be honest, males — particularly white males — have an advantage in the skewed world we live in. It’s easier for them. We don’t like it. We fight hard to change it. We rail against it with every fiber of our feminist being. But in the back of our minds, we breathe an uneasy sigh of relief that our boys will not struggle as hard as others. We hate ourselves for it, but we do it nonetheless.”

Ruh-Ro.  CLEARLY this chick was not speaking for any black parent of black boys I know.  All I could think was that THIS is how white privilege gets indoctrinated and perpetuated.

I’m struggling to make sense of Ralph’s thought process. Either she has been living under a rock and is completely ignorant to how offensive her admitted protection of, and indeed, perpetuation of, white male privilege is to mothers of sons of color or she is just that arrogant, insensitive and racist. Either one is unacceptable.

As the mother of two black, adult sons I can no longer protect my sons by holding their hand as they navigate this world which seems hell-bent on taking them out…one way or the other. That’s not Ms. Ralph’s problem. But her secret celebration of her sons’ privilege, which, truth be told, comes at the expense of my sons, is more than I can swallow.